Mad Love

Sometimes my husband drives me completely insane. In fact, I could make a list as long as my arm of things that he has done that made me want to peel his face off with laser beams from my eyes. I won't list them though, because I'm sure that everyone has a similar list of things that their spouses do that make them equally crazy. However, and this is a big however, when I start to think about all of the things that he does that make me wonder why on Earth I ever got married, all of the reasons that I did start coming back to me. And they are so much more important than the reasons I sometimes want to run away screaming.

My husband loves me. And I mean he really loves me. He knew I wasn't perfect when we met, and he married me anyway. He not only accepted, but embraced, my flaws. And there are all of these seemingly small things that he does that other people might never notice if they didn't look closely, but to me they are constant reminders of his love. He always rests his hand on my leg when we're in the car. He makes kissy faces at me from the other end of the couch. He spontaneously blurts out that he loves me periodically throughout the day, everyday. When we go to the grocery store, or the mall, or a bookstore, or just walk down the street, he puts his hand on the small of my back. And it seems like such a small insignificant little thing to do, but to me it means so much. It's as if he's saying "This is my wife, the woman I love and I am proud to be with her." But it's also a constant reminder to me that he's there, beside me, and supporting me.

Also, no matter how awful I look, if I'm sick and haven't showered and my hair's a mess and I have on no makeup and haven't tweezed my eyebrows in a few days, he still looks at me and tells me I'm beautiful, and usually also cops a feel in the process. And I look in the mirror and say to myself "how on Earth could you possibly find this attractive?", but then A) he's a man and B) he's looking at me through eyes glazed over with love for his wife and the mother of his child. And somehow, just knowing that no matter how wretched I feel, he still thinks I'm beautiful...it helps me get through the day.

Then there's his endless appreciation of the things I do. He thanks me and tells me how much he loved what I cooked for dinner, whether it's something elaborate and homemade, or frozen fish sticks and mac & cheese. And after I've taken the time to cook for him, he not only compliments the meal and says thank you, but he also cleans the kitchen and the dishes. And on the weekends when he's home all day, he shares the responsibility of the baby and the dog so that I can get a break from my "job" and have some time to myself.

And then there's the fact that he's a hopeless romantic. When he was deployed to Iraq, I got love letters. And I don't just mean emails or letters telling me about what he was doing over there, I mean honest to God romantic love letters written on paper and sent snail mail from Iraq. When he's gone to the field for a couple of weeks I get romantic text messages telling me how much he longs to be home with me. Yeah you read that right, he longs. It never ceases to amaze me how open and honest he is with his feelings. And I don't have to pry this stuff out of him with a crow bar either mind you. It's so nice to have someone tell you how they feel about you without you having to ask.

Marriage is hard work. And sometimes when you combine the differences between two people with all of the stress and strain of daily life like working and paying bills and raising kids, husbands and wives will drive each other nuts. And sometimes the bad really does outweigh the good, and at that point there isn't a whole lot left to do but admit that it simply isn't going to work. As for me, I got lucky. Doesn't mean that I don't want to strangle him sometimes, but I'm also sure that, just like our love for each other, occasionally the homicidal feeling is mutual.